so there's these two really cool people in my life. one of them i've known for almost three decades and the other one i've known for a few years. their names are sam and kristie. sam and kristie are married. sam and kristie are the type of people who make you more yourself when you're around them. they're the best. they're fun, they're so easy to talk to, they're intelligent, they're the perfect blend of free-spirited-ness and responsibility. they are hilarious, deep, thoughtful and most importantly, they love the Lord. when sam and kristie say something, i listen. so you can see how seriously i took it when they told me about this tv series that i really needed to check out. how i met your mother. they brought me season 1 on saturday night. it is now monday night and i am through season 1. this shows you how smart sam and kristie are. this also shows you that i think i have an addictive personality. (no i'm not addicted to sam and kristie. at least i don't think... hmm...)
for those of you who have never seen the show, how i met your mother begins in the future. it is a show where a dad is telling his two teenage children the story of how he met their mother. episode after episode you are watching him live life years earlier. you see him in his friendships, you see him in his relationships, you see his experiences. in the first few episodes i felt myself almost giddy with excitement waiting for him to meet her. i watched and i waited. another episode... i watched and i waited... a few episodes in and he still had not met her. i turned the tv off and i went to bed. i laid there thinking about the show. then i started thinking about how his story of how he met her began long, long before he actually met her. his experiences, the people in his life (however long they were in the picture) - all of that helped make him him. and all of it led him to her. i started thinking about having cancer. one day i hope i'm able to have children so that i can tell them the story of how i made it through cancer. my story would begin a long, long time before now. i would tell about how my mom used to tuck me in every night and just before she'd close the door she'd always wave at me. i'd tell about how my dad would let me sit on his lap and he would scratch my back. i'd tell about how my brother made me pay him to let me ride to school with him in his car before i had my license. (he's going to punch me in the arm for that one) i'd tell about when my parents bought a piece of land in brown county that has turned into such a meaningful place, a place of retreat for our family and for our friends. i'd tell about how i decided to go to indiana university. i'd tell about the first time i met liz. i'd tell about getting to live with sarah. i'd tell about paul steiner. i'd tell about some pretty amazing women, janel, emily and michelle and a little house at 820 east 8th street. i'd tell about the woman that my brother married who is the sister that i wanted my whole life. i'd tell about my friendship with amanda. and just when i had their full attention, i would tell them a story about loving someone so much that you could be halfway around the world from them and know that there was no one else that you'd rather go through life with. the cool thing is that all the things that i've experienced up until now has prepared me for this. and the even cooler thing is that this is preparing me for what is coming. THAT is our God. He knows no accident and He wastes nothing. romans 8:28 has always been my favorite verse. "and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him..." all things. that means the bad day you had. the disappointment you felt. the time you got a phone call that brought you to your knees. or that thing that you want so so bad and that you wait for every day but every day it doesn't come. it also means that moment when you thought life couldn't get any better. or that day you finally got to walk across the stage and get that diploma or the day you got offered a higher position at work. all things He works together for your good. with our eyes on Him, nothing is wasted, not a single experience or moment.
thursday is treatment #4. please pray that if it is God's will that i will be able to have the treatment. i have been having some numbness and tingling in my feet which is something that can delay treatment. but please pray that above all His will would be done - including the timing and length of treatments. i wouldn't have it any other way than His.
after treatment #4 i will have a PET scan. this will show how the cancer has reacted to my treatments thus far and will tell us how many (if any) more treatments i will need. once chemo is completed we begin radiation. right now there are a lot of unknowns - when will i be done with chemo, how long will i have to do radiation, and on and on. good thing we don't have to worry about a thing because God knows it all and He is in complete control.
"...all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be..."~Ps139:16.
thank you all for your prayers, your emails, your notes and cards of encouragement. all of them and all of you are a part of my story.